


God's gonna cut you down

by Kavvio223



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games), Red Dead Redemption 2
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Bisexual Male Character, Character Death, Death, Dreams and Nightmares, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Multi, NSFW, Period-Typical Homophobia, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Rating: M, References to Depression, Sad Ending, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-01-24 02:44:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 14,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21330973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kavvio223/pseuds/Kavvio223
Summary: The time of law now filling the land that once roamed with outlaws, crooks, thieves, and gangs began diminishing. Freedom is no longer what it used to be.  Hiding was a must. Living was simply no longer a luxury when you abide by crime; especially as an outlaw.It was the year 1899, industrial machinery making appearance as people were now becoming civilized. Pinkertons were hunting the last of the gangs, making it possible for this new era to begin. However, a few couple stand, simply trying to survive. One man however, did his own thing.
Relationships: Hosea Matthews/Dutch van der Linde, John Marston/Arthur Morgan, John Marston/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 22





	1. Wolf Boy

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time publishing my writing publically! Let me what ya'll think below so that way i can keep writing. I spent a lot of time deciding if i should share the story of Kevin, but I'm doing it anyway. If you're interested in RDR2 fanart and even drawings of Kevin, you can find me at @KavvioSketches. Thanks!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time of law now filling the land that once roamed with outlaws, crooks, thieves, and gangs began diminishing. Freedom is no longer what it used to be. Hiding was a must. Living was simply no longer a luxury when you abide by crime; especially as an outlaw.  
It was the year 1899, industrial machinery making appearance as people were now becoming civilized. Pinkertons were hunting the last of the gangs, making it possible for this new era to begin. However, a few couple stand, simply trying to survive. One man however, did his own thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time publishing my writing publically! Let me what ya'll think below so that way i can keep writing. I spent a lot of time deciding if i should share the story of Kevin, but I'm doing it anyway. If you're interested in RDR2 fanart and even drawings of Kevin, you can find me at @KavvioSketches on Twitter. Thanks!

The time of law now filling the land that once roamed with outlaws, crooks, thieves, and gangs began diminishing. Freedom is no longer what it used to be. Hiding was a must. Living was simply no longer a luxury when you abide by crime; especially as an outlaw.  
It was the year 1899, industrial machinery making appearance as people were now becoming civilized. Pinkertons were hunting the last of the gangs, making it possible for this new era to begin. However, a few couple stand, merely trying to survive. One man, however, did his own thing. 

Kevin Adiar.  
A leader of his gang. Which was himself on his own. He wasn’t always an outlaw, being raised on a farm since a young boy. But ever since a particular event dating back almost twenty years ago, things haven’t been the same. Becoming a widow unwillingly, losing everything he had drove this man to kill. He had one goal in mind. Which was to-  
BAM  
“Shit...almost had it.” Came a voice, a strong southern drawl in his voice. The hissing of smoke escaping the barrel of a rifle. A man hovered up above from cover, striking blue eyes peering in the night. He looked around to be about forty-three, a rather annoyed expression on his face. His eyes looked tired as if he hadn’t slept, nearly squinting as he forced them to stay open for so long. He wore simple clothing, a grey collared dress shirt just buttoned enough to cover his belly. His sleeves rolled up to his elbows, various scars decorating his fairly tanned skin. His fingers also were riddled with them. From observation, they must have been caused by a pack of something, the man somehow luckily walking on ground today. Suspenders hugged his shoulders as they attached to a pair of fairly maintained burgundy pants. Around his waist was a leather belt, a pair of wings decorated on his buckle. His hair a deep black hair danced in the wind, jaw slacking as a pair of sharp canines peaked his lips. 

Guess you could say he almost looked like a wolf. 

A long groan escaped his lips, kicking a nearby rock as he stomped on his way towards his steed. It was a very tall and imitating stallion; fully black like midnight. The horse snorted as he approached him, Kevin waving his hand dismissively.  
"Don't be looking at me like that. I don't need you to be staring at me like a fool." he chuckled, his rough face quickly brightening with a smile as he began patting his partner's neck before jumping on the saddle.  
"Yer lucky I got some carrots. The last can of beans won't last but...it's better than nothin'" 

They began making their way down the road, heading west towards a small camp that nestled in the lush nature just west of Strawberry. Luckily not many folks know of Kevin, but many still are wary of his demeanor. He minded to himself most of the time unless he needed some kind of pay.  
Robbery? Check.  
Murder? More often than you think.  
This man didn't have sympathy for men. He wouldn't hesitate to shoot someone point-blank, but it must be for a good reason. It was all about survival.  
Kevin could almost feel himself falling asleep, gripping at the reins as they reached his camp. Suppose the beans could wait till the morning.  
When they got close enough, he got off before tying Black Beauty up to a post, treating him with a carrot before stumbling on over to the fire pit. The man somehow lazily got it going, watching it carefully before reaching into his satchel. He pulled out a bottle of fine whiskey; still unopened.  
He popped the cork, taking a swig.  
One swig came after another till the man passed out, slumber now peaking. 

Everything went black. Silence filling his mind before something echoed.  
"Daddy....help...."  
Kevin was finally met with a shadowy figure of a child on the floor, black smoke emitting from presumably was a bullet wound. not far from there laid a larger figure. A lifeless woman.  
"DADDY!"  
Kevin gasped as he shot up, being met with the still burning cores of the fire. He was in cold sweat, panting before rubbing off the sweat on his face.  
"Fucking hell..." His rough hand cupped his face, exhaling slowly as he went and laid back down. The cold wind rustling in the leaves brought him to sleep once again, now peacefully.


	2. Trouble heading to Strawberry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin wasn't expecting to be met with trouble on his way to Strawberry. It started with gunfire, now how will he get out of this situation?

The sun was now shining brightly, bringing a noise out of Kevin as he russled around on the ground. He didn't dream much after that nightmare, coughing a bit before lifting his body off the ground. Kevin didn't think of actually laying on his bedroll, realizing the mistake as he shivered. His body wasn't nearly what it used to be. The consequence of being reckless as a young man was now catching up, his joints cracking every time he made a weird movement. Boy did it hurt.  
His stomach growled in protest, his scarred hand palming the surface. It was about time he had that last thing of beans.  
Kevin got up to his feet, nearly toppling over before catching himself as he traveled on over to the makeshift tent.  
There wasn't much other than a crate in the corner on the left with a lantern and a small box that had the thing he was looking for. He grabbed the can, feeling the cold metal from the freezing temperatures since he left it there. His free hand clipped at his buckle, pulling out a blade from the hidden compartment of his belt. He stabbed into the thin sheet of metal on the top, working his way to get into the contents his stomach starved for.  
A few moments later he scarfed it down, tossing the can elsewhere. With a cloth, he cleaned off the blade. The knife was engraved with fairly intricate designs. Presumably vines as flowers bloomed in certain places while the others were buds. Once he was finished, he returned it back into his buckle with a click. 

"Well...might as well buy some more things. Can't rely on hunting forever..." He mumbled to himself. Kevin raised his arms in the air, stretching his tired body. He reached into his satchel, pulling out some money from the previous jobs he did. He had about 20 dollars, which was enough to provide for the meantime. The outlaw made his way back outside, going to the post where Black Beauty stood. Of course, they couldn't start the day without some kind of treat. He handed him another carrot as Black Beauty happily munched down. Kevin took that as confirmation that they could start off by making their way to Strawberry.

The ride was pleasant, trotting down on the dirt road, occasionally passing by folk. He would often wave or say 'mornin' each time. You gotta act friendly to conceal your identity, especially in Kevin's case. The O'Driscoll's were appearing more often than usual, making it hard for Kevin to go much of anywhere without getting into a brawl. They always had a bad history, making Kevin's body count add each time. He had a deep hatred for the leader. Good ol' Colm O'Driscoll. They aren't a fan of Kevin either, adding a price to his head for debt that wasn't even his in the first place. Kevin's loving father reached a difficult period which lead him to get money and protection from those bastards. His father unexpectedly passed, passing the debt to the next of the bloodline. Which happened to be Kevin. 

Kevin was an only child to a Farmer and a woman placed in an arraigned marriage. They were loving parents, giving the best life little Kevin could ever ask for. His father taught him how to hunt, raise livestock, and break horses. His mother taught how to sew and make the best food one could ever taste. He was blessed even more when a young woman passed by, watching him work on their land during the day. Her name was Maraline. She had long flowy brown locks with emeralds in her eyes. Her expression was soft, very alluring with just a small curl of her lips. She was everything Kevin could ask for. Despite the fact she enjoyed causing trouble. Kevin wouldn't be able to count how many times he saved her from being bucked off the horses, always ending up with some kind of injury that she nursed after a good laugh.  
He loved her. 

"Hey! ain't you Kevin Adiar? 'Wolf Boy' or somethin?"  
Kevin shot his head towards the man that approached him. They were literally not that far away from Strawberry, Kevin getting a strange gut feeling in his belly.  
"No, you got somebody else." He replied, pressing Black Beauty to keep walking. This man was persistent, almost chasing down Kevin.  
"We know who you are, you owe money. Your papa needs to give back, even if it means killing you."  
Fuck.  
Kevin stopped his horse, getting off before facing the other man straight on. His blue eyes sharpened, emitting that predatory energy. He barred his teeth, taking more steps forward. Wolf Boy it was.  
"Say that again?" He hissed. Kevin nearly towered over the O'Driscoll, slightly cowering in fear.  
"You shouldn't have gotten off the h-horse mister." he managed to blurt out.  
Kevin smirked.  
BANG  
There laid the corpse of the man, Kevin's revolver in hand. He laid there with a bullet through his head, crimson pooling like a fountain.  
BANG BANG  
"Get him!"  
And of course, it was an ambush. Kevin quickly made his way for cover, pressing his body against a rock as bullets began flying.  
"Really?! Y'all have this many for one man?!!" He shouted at them, laughing in disbelief. He shouldn't have spoken so soon.  
He didn't notice someone creeping up behind him, the last thing Kevin feeling was a hard knock against his head.  
Bloody O'Driscolls.


	3. New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting captured by the O'Driscoll Boys was hell enough. Now things were just getting worse when he meets someone he thought would never happen. Now Kevin's life was going to change forever.

Pain. All he felt was a searing pain on the side of his head. Luckily they didn't kill him with that single hit, otherwise tying him up to a tree would be pointless. The scratchy feeling on his back was unpleasant, his boots digging into the dirt below as he slowly began regaining consciousness. His vision blurred, swaying his head back and forth since his perception of balance was nonexistent. He heard the faint chatter of men not that far away, noticing a blob of light centered among them. Damn. He was out for a long time. One man noticed that Kevin as now awake, talking to the others before getting up from the fire. Kevin couldn't make out what he was saying, only hearing the chuckle they made before walking on closer.

He was suddenly met with a blunt force on his face, the impact making his canines cut the inside of his mouth. Kevin could taste the metallic fluid, groaning before spitting in whatever direction he assumed the O'Driscoll was at. He managed to get the blood on the man, getting hit once again in response.

"F-fuck _you_...." Kevin blurted out, keeping his head hanged in the direction he was now forced to look to by the punch.

"Heh, big talk for being tied up to a tree. You're lucky Colm wants you alive or we would have killed you." A thick Irish accent escaping his lips. "You're a looker too. Maybe seeing what's under all those rags would be nice..." The O'Driscoll boy reached on forward, inching on closer to his face. Kevin opened his mouth before biting down on his hand, piercing through the skin with his teeth.

He screamed, cursing before pulling his hand away. "**Shit**! He fucking bit me like a dog!" Blood was now dripping from his hand, shaking it off since he actually got him really good. The other gang members began laughing loudly, one shouting afar. "Don't be bothering the new pet. Or he will eat your face off!" almost losing his breath from laughing so hard. The other shot daggers towards them, returning to the fire to tend to his wound.  
  
Moment's later, Kevin was stuck with his thoughts and trying to ignore the throbbing pain on his face. He just wanted to get out, the burning of the rope around his wrists irritating his skin. Thing's were oddly quiet until he heard a piercing scream. His eyes darted upwards, seeing once alive men tumbling down to the ground. Shadows of people began appearing, the sound of hooves patting against the ground. Some tried to flee before receiving the wrath of the strangers. Kevin watched, feeling that he was gonna end up like them too if they see him by the tree.   
  


"Hey Dutch! There's a feller tied up on over there." The voice was almost low and growly, a strong southern drawl in his voice as well. All Kevin could see was a finger being pointed towards his direction. Another head turned, followed by a sigh.  
  
"You might as well go and check if he is still alive Arthur." came a response. The man he assumed named 'Arthur' groaned, getting off his horse. He approached Kevin, slowly lifting his head.

"He's alive! What do you want me to do with him?"  
  
Dutch took a couple more moments to think, replying in a shout. "Let's take him back. He might have some information about the _O'Driscoll Boys_." 

"He looks real beat up. Let's hope he survives till then." Arthur cut off the rope, Kevin immediately tumbling down from the sheer exhaustion of getting smacked around. Arthur caught him before he hit the ground. 

"I ain't...one of em..." Kevin tried to speak, his voice horse as all hell.

"Don't explain now, I can already see it on your face." Arthur said before he picked him up, gripping onto Arthur securely. "I don't know what's gonna happen to you after, but enjoy breathing for now."

That was the last thing he said before being hoisted on Old Boy. The bumpy feeling of the movements made everything hurt. Kevin didn't even peep since he was far more worried about meeting death's door if he said the wrong thing. It felt like ages before hearing another voice. It sounded friendly almost.

"Did you guys find them?"  
  
"Yeah, found this guy too. Go and rest now Lenny. You done enough." Arthur spoke to Lenny, the other nodding in response. They finally came to a sudden stop, Kevin being carried once again. Nothing much more was said. He was then laid down on something soft. Was it a bed? He turned his head and noticed a lantern blaring in the darkness. However, the restraint's still remained on his wrists. Kevin didn't necessarily blame them since he was a stranger as it is. A blanket was placed over his body, almost making him flinch.  
  
"Yer fine now. Just sleep alright?" 

Kevin nodded, immediately passing out. Maybe this was the last time he will ever enjoy the feeling of sleeping again, cherishing for it as long as he could. Maybe it could be a _new beginning_. 


	4. Author's note

I just realized I didn't specify where to find my art XD it's @KavvioSketches on Twitter! it contains mature content, so don't go and try to find me if that makes you uncomfy. Thanks!


	5. The Van der Linde Gang

The faint chirps of bird's now awakened the outlaw, not recognizing his surroundings. He almost panicked when he felt the rope around his wrists. It took a moment to realize the events that happened. Oh right, he went from being a prisoner for the O'Driscolls to the Van der Linde gang. Things never went right for this man. He shuffled his body just right to flip on his back, lifting his upper body to take a good look around him. It was dark minus a small streak of light that peaked through the flaps of the tent. He heard some chatter not far away, recognizing the few voices he heard from earlier. There were more unrecognizable voices. So it wasn't just men, huh? The movements he made alerted them, the flaps suddenly opening. The sunlight burned Kevin's eyes, squinting before taking a real good look.   
Arthur Morgan. Those piercing eyes almost made Kevin shiver, leaning back from the slight anxiety that stirred within him. 

"Ah, still alive? That's good. Come on, it's time to get what we wanted from ya." Arthur said as he went and assisted Kevin to his feet. He guided him out from the tent, now exposed to the rest of the gang. They all gazed on over, getting a particularly sharp one from a man who stood by Dutch. Kevin could already feel that they weren't going to get along from the start, a smirk now plastering on the stranger's face.

"Is this the man you guy's found? Hope you ain't feeding the stray." He snarked before a small chuckle followed. 

"Don't be giving him grief unless I tell you to _Micah_." Dutch spoke before taking a drag from his cigar that propped nicely in between his lips. "Bring him over to the tree there. He already looks startled enough as it is, so just leave him be." 

Arthur obliged, setting Kevin by the tree. He looked around, noticing something. It didn't look like any kind of gang. Everyone looked like they had their own story and reason. It was intimidating to say the least that no one looked like dirt rolling pigs like the O'Driscoll Boys. He even noticed a young boy walking around and about, his attention quickly being brought to Dutch as he approached him.

"So, what's your name son?" He asked, exhaling the smoke of the cigar.

Kevin was hesitant, but the worry within him practically spilled the words of his bruised lips. Didn't help that he would probably shot dead if he decided to make a run for it without any form of weapon. Nevermind his fists. 

"Kevin...Kevin Adiar." He mumbled, lowering his head. 

"Kevin Adiar." Dutch repeated. "What business do you have with the O'Driscolls? Typically they kill folk without giving a chance. But you're somehow are still alive." he said, pressing on Kevin to speak. It was working alright as both Dutch and Arthur hovered over him. He felt like a deer in the spotlight, about to get shot at any moment. 

"Been trying to find me for a debt I don't owe. I have been running and killing them for twenty years. I'm not innocent since I killed many along the way. I'm just trying to survive." he explained, wincing at the sore feeling on certain places on his face. It was still stained with the blood from his mouth being cut and biting down on the O'Driscoll's hand. Dutch almost looked impressed, considering he was still alive through almost twenty years of hell.

"They killed folk dear to me. And I want them to pay for what I lost." Kevin's tone changed drastically, his throat tightening from the emotions that caved in.

Dutch took a moment to think, inhaling the cigar mid-thought. 

"Kevin Adiar, an outlaw surviving on his own." 

"Yeah, been for a long time." Kevin responded as he lifted his head, coming to the exception of his pitiful life.

Dutch turned his head toward's Arthur, only for Arthur to protest for what he had in mind just by the expression on his face.

"That's a bad idea Dutch. We don't know if he is working with the Pinkertons."  
  
"Come on Arthur, have some **_faith_**. Go and cut him free, he will be joining us. And if you're so worried, I'll assign you along with him to get things done." Dutch chuckled, returning his attention back to Kevin. 

"B-But Dutc-"  
  


"It's settled! Welcome to the Van der Linde gang, Kevin. I hope that you won't make me regret this decision." 

Arthur groaned, even though he disagreed with the conclusion Dutch came to. The sawing of his knife was a pleasant sound, hearing him snap free. Kevin brought his hands in front of him as he rubbed his wrists, absorbing the feeling of finally being free. He got up to his feet, a smile of gratitude on his face. 

"Thank you...Dutch." Kevin thanked him. Kevin wasn't used to being around people, only for an older gentleman approaching the three. He looked baffled to see Kevin, looking at Dutch with disbelief. 

"Hosea! This is Kevin. He will be joining us from now on. We can't abandon someone in a clear sense of help now can we?" 

Hosea simply shook his head, bringing his hand over his face. "Very well, but that only means the need for more supplies. But that's not what I came here for. Apparently there is a rumor going around in Valentine. One of the girls mentioned that some drunk 'idiot' was blabbering about a huge amount of money stored away in a safe. It's about at least two grand. The Bank of Valentine doesn't have much security, but a distraction would be good. "  
  
Dutch blew up in a burst of hearty laughter, spreading his arms triumphantly. "Wonderful! just what I wanted to hear. This is the perfect chance for 'Wolf Boy' to prove himself. Gather the men. They might as well meet him too while we are at it."

He gestured the others to follow him. calling the men to gather around. Of course, Kevin had to the center of attention. A man with a scarred face stood across from him, glancing on over to Kevin. He looked surprised, almost fearful. Who knew a man could look so much like a beast? Kevin was curious about his reaction but suddenly began to understand. he palmed his arms, tracing the scars from that day. How he got his 'nickname' didn't fit the occurrence since a pack of wolves caused them. Hunting alone that day in the mountains for his family almost caused his perish, only to come back to something far worse.

"Alright, boys! This is Kevin Aidiar. He will be riding with us from now on. We are gonna be 'borrowing' some money from the bank in Valentine. Kevin will provide as a distraction to prove his worthiness. Two grand is at stake here, and who knows if someone else heard about the rumor. Till then, continue providing and surviving. John Marston." Dutch spoke, noticing the oddly large space between John and Kevin. The man went and pulled John closer to him, now finally being met eye to eye. John wasn't nearly as terrifying as Arthur.

"Come on, we are all family here." 

Both of them were slow before shaking hands. Kevin could feel how small he was, his heart strangely started spreading warmth through his body. That feeling was short-lived when John released his hand. Kevin hated to admit it, but he didn't want to let go. It was a long time since he had that same sensation, having a hard time tracing back then. The look in his eye was unfamiliar. 

"Name is John Marston. Nice to meet you Kevin." John's voice was raspy and hoarse, clearing his throat afterward. 

"Kevin Adiar. But ya already know that." he smiled warmly, his canines peaking his lips although it hurt like all hell. John couldn't help but laugh at his funky smile. Let's hope it ends as well as it started. A bank robbery doesn't sound too bad.


	6. Another Authors note

Alright y'all, just wanted to let you guys know that i encourage highly to comment! I wanna know if you guys are enjoying it so that way chapters will be coming quicker and possibly post back to back! Smut will be coming very soon i assure you, so please 'hold your horses' and i will deliver it in the most tasteful way. Also thank you for the 83 hits! I never expected to see that many, and i hope to see many more of you. Thanks!  
-Kavvioc


	7. The Test of an Outlaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being accepted in the Gang was simply a first step. Now it's time for Kevin to prove his worthiness in a bank robbery. Will thing's end horribly due to his luck? Or will he succeed and be considered as Dutch's own?

Two days have passed since Kevin joined The Van der Linde gang. Everyone grew to accept Kevin as part of the gang, not growing so tense whenever he was present. Mrs. Grimshaw took a particular liking to him since he was constantly on his feet helping around. It was helpful having a farm boy who always worked without hesitation. His relationship with Arthur wasn't too terribly bad even though he was skeptical about him being around. Kevin could notice, but more focused on his interactions with John. He was always told to mind his business, but he couldn't but wonder what happened between them. It was very tense and bitter.   
Kevin was very fond of young Jack, occasionally coming by and greeting him. He couldn't help but be reminded of his daughter who was around the same age before she passed. He would laugh once Jack asked about his teeth and scars, making up an epic story where he fought off A big hairy monster who he beat in a fistfight. Pearson didn't mind him either since he occasionally helped make stew and somehow magically made it 'better'.   
"My mama taught me how. But the stew was fine from the start Pearson." He replied, trying to not discourage him from his craft.   
"Nonsense. Maybe it wasn't a bad idea for Dutch to keep you. Ever since you appeared, thing's have been easier to get done." He chuckled, Kevin's attention being brought on over to Dutch.   
It was time.   
The gang kindly provided Kevin with a revolver as well as a pump-action shotgun. The shotgun was his preference, but the revolver would come in handy during the robbery since it could be easily concealed. Dutch signaled for everyone to come on over, minus the women, Uncle, Charles, as well as Lenny. Kevin waved his goodbyes to Pearson before making his way on over to the group,   
"Alright men, it's time. We will start heading to Valentine to begin the robbery. It is utmost necessary that everything runs smoothly, and not lose any of you. Kevin will provide a distraction and signal us when everything is clear. Arthur, I, Kevin and Micah will be inside as the rest of you keep a lookout for the law. Who knows if this is some game, but don't lose faith."  
Everyone nodded in agreement, ready for the call.  
"Good, now let's ride! Kevin, you'll be riding with John." Dutch finished before making his way on over to the post where The Count stood. Kevin and John looked at each other, not bothering to speak a word as the rest followed their leader. Kevin allowed John to jump on Old Boy first who Arthur happened to borrow that night they discovered him. Kevin then hoisted himself on soon after, supporting himself by holding onto John's waist. He was very slim, Kevin quickly apologizing. "Sorry, didn't mean to grab you."   
John smirked, shaking his head. "It's fine. You'll fall off if you don't" he smiled.   
Kevin furrowed his brows, making an attempt to not make a reaction to his grin. That same warmth grew again, darting his eyes away and focused on something for the meantime. He received an unpleasant glare from the gunman Micah, only for Kevin to respond with a blank expression minus the fire in his eyes. 

They began making their way out of Horseshoe Overlook, the terrain familiar to Kevin. He never thought that the notorious Van der Linde gang would be hiding here since he often passed by without blinking an eye. In a matter of time, they arrived in Valentine. They left their horses just far enough for a good escape route, making the rest of the way by foot. The men made their way to the assigned positions, Kevin looking back them with one last look before approaching the Savings Bank. Perhaps this might be the last time he sees the light of day. The pressure was now on his shoulders, his hand now rested on the doorknob, the creaking of the door echoing as he went inside. The black bandana rested neatly around his neck, his sharp blue eyes now gazing around. Hosea wasn't wrong when there wasn't much security, only about two guards that stood by the door. The clerk stood in his appropriate place, greeting Kevin as he inched on closer. Time to test his skills.  
"S'cuse me, mister." Kevin began, appearing annoyed about something. "I wanted to talk to somebody about a problem. One of your _clerks_ said something to me that I didn't like. Something about my clothes and how I look like I would rob the place. And all I wanted was to see if I could deposit money that keeps you folk livin'.   
The man before him appeared baffled, looking around anxiously since he didn't want to piss off the man before him. 

"U-Uhh yes. I would love to help but the boss isn't here today. Perhaps I could interest you in scheduling a meeting or writing a complaint? We take those thing's seriously here." he stammered, fiddling with his fingers. 

"Really? I come all the way here, only to be told **_that?!_**!" He raised his volume, giving the signal to the men. Arthur, Dutch, and Micah made their way in with cloth covering the lower half of their face, aiming at said guards or whatever hostages. Kevin lifted his bandana, pulling it over his face as well.  
  


"He ain't wrong when he said I looked like would rob the place. Safe._ Now_." He growled, aiming his revolver before cocking back the gun. The clerk was nearly pissing himself, Micah and Arthur watching over the hostages as Dutch stood by Kevin. Dutch patted him on the shoulder before nodding in approval, The clerk grabbing the keys to the room before guiding the two. The other handed him the bag, continuing to aim the gun as they walked. Soon they were in the room, about five looking sturdy safe's appearing before them. 

"Go on! open it." Kevin spoke as he gestured over to the safes with his weapon, the man hurryingly going to put in the codes. Suddenly Arthur's voice was heard from afar, followed by more stomps. 

"We don't got much time! The law is coming any minute!"

Dutch huffed impatiently before turning his head toward's Kevin. The outlaw knew just what to do with the look in his eye, grabbing the clerk by the shoulder before pushing him away. He himself began cracking into them, leaning his head against the metal surface. In mere minutes, he cracked into the first one, being met with about five hundred dollars. He began stuffing the bags with quick grabs, quickly on going to the next one. He could feel the clock ticking, sweat dripping down his forehead as his blood ran cold. 

_Click._

The next one went, throwing it open as he saw more cash. He then stuffed in the next bag, his concentration only getting disturbed by gunfire. 

Time was up.

His sharp eyes turned towards the man, a noticeable scent clouding his nostrils. The bastard pissed himself.

"Fucking coward..." Kevin muttered as he got up to his feet, spotting an exit through the back. Dutch's head peaked outside the door of the safe room, The whole gang now residing inside the building as gunfire continued to bounce around.

"There's an exit here! Let's move!" Dutch shouted as Kevin grabbed the bags, bumping into Arthur as he handed him the other. Sadly they didn't think this through, two lawmen blocking the way to their freedom. Kevin raised his gun before firing point-blank into one's face. It quite literally exploded, brain matter splattering in all directions as he fell to the ground. The one that still stood was a young man who wasn't prepared for this job, stepping back as he raised his hands in the air. The body laid there as blood poured all over the ground. It was a gut-wrenching sight. 

But no one had remorse, Micah firing nonchalantly to the other in the same unfortunate fate. No point trying to change things now. They all ran over to their horses as the lawmen began raiding the bank. 

_Bu-bump. Ba-bump_. 

Kevin's heart was racing, his vision blurry as his body grew hot from the adrenaline. The sounds of shouting and gunshots were faint, completely focused on Old Boy.

All he could recall after was holding John, making a peaceful ride back to their camp. The lawmen weren't chasing them. He could only hear chirps of birds and rustling leaves until Dutch began laughing manically.

"We did it, boys! We scored!"

Everyone began cheering as they reentered the camp, everyone noticing the rather excited and pleased expression on Dutch's face. It was time for a celebration. and certainly one Kevin won't ever forget.


	8. Whiskey Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The celebration was now at its peak. Everyone was drinking whiskey, enjoying each other's company. Now Kevin started to notice what stirred within him every time he looked at John. But it just only sparked between the two after one too many drinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the porn ya'll been waiting for! i got a little lazy at the end since i got tired and lost my previous progress due to CHROME CLOSING WHEN I DIDN'T CLICK IT TO. But i hope you guys enjoy it anyway. Thanks!

A celebration it was. Everyone was out by the fire enjoying bottles of whiskey whilst sitting by the fire, Uncle passed out fairly close by the poison. Javier was strumming his guitar as everyone sang along to the songs, Kevin occasionally joining in as well. He had a very loud booming voice, which only made him receive an attentive glace from John. Not that he was bad. In fact, Kevin was better than what he thought he was. Kevin noticed his glance, staring at one another longer to be considered normal. The outlaw had a few drinks prior to this, holding onto his bottle tightly. John just smiled, his cupid bow lips curling ever so beautifully. Kevin grinned in response, his expression just telling everything. Sparks began flashing in his eyes, his heart racing as that warm feeling spread through his body once again. He almost got up to inch on closer, trying to close the gap between them. He was suddenly met with a grab at the shoulder, his head turning quickly to the touch. Dutch hovered over him, A glass of whiskey in hand as his ringed one held onto his shoulder. He seemed pleased, proud even.  
“You did well, Kevin. Look at how happy everyone is.” He spoke, gesturing to the happy crowd that surrounded him. Everyone had big happy grins, laughing loudly in happiness. He even saw a smile on Arthur’s face, which was a rare sight.   
“Welcome to the family son.” He finished, giving one last pat before releasing.   
Kevin was at a lost of words, nodding in agreement as he watched him trail off on over to Hosea. Dutch struck up a conversation, shortly leaving on over to his tent with the older gentleman. He didn’t question the connection between them, now feeling a presence creeping on beside him. It was John Marston.  
“You know Dutch ain’t wrong. You did good out there.” John’s voice rough and hoarse as it always was. Kevin was shocked, his cheeks warming up in embarrassment as he looked into the fire.  
“Now yer just being nice…” He retorted, bringing the bottle to his lips. John just laughed, Kevin quickly taking a swig since he knew that his poor schoolboy blushing face was most likely noticeable. Perhaps he could somehow mask it, chugging the mostly half-filled bottle. It was a mistake. He could feel the world spinning, his body tingling like nothing as his brain fogged from the booze. Kevin tried to make an escape, getting up to his feet and basically almost fell into the fire. John caught him however, saving him from burning himself. The touch sent pleasurable waves down Kevin’s spine, only making him want to leave even more. The man retreated, despite leaning to the side from having no balance. The touch was different, his body signaling something that he hasn’t felt in ages that was caused by someone. The desire to make love.  
Typically whenever he had this desire, he could be alone and out of sight. But it only made it worse when John grabbed at him once again, forcing the older man to turn around.  
“What are you runnin’ away for? You just drank that like nothing.” John said, the whiskey noticeable in his breath. Yep, John was drunk too. John now focused his eyes on Kevin’s face, now being met eye to eye. Kevin was breathing heavily as his chest rose and fell, eyes half-lidded. Desperation was plastered all over his expression, his large scarred hand grabbing onto John’s forearm.  
“Please…” Kevin pleaded, trying to regulate his breath. “Stop touching me…”  
John’s eyes widened before a playful grin danced on his face. He knew just exactly what was going on. The younger man pulled Kevin by his collar, just low enough to reach his ear.   
“Or what?” He whispered sweetly, his hot breath hitting the surface on the edges of his ear. That did it alright. Kevin inhaled sharply before grabbing onto the strap of John’s suspenders, dragging him on over towards the boundaries of the camp. Everyone else was oblivious to the event, except for Arthur. The look in his gaze was intense, like something like this happened before. Perhaps something did.  
It didn’t take them long until they reached Kevin’s secluded tent, which he built himself to at least have some privacy. He pushed away the flaps before pulling John in, tying the rope securely on the loops so no one could go in. He wasn’t worried about anyone waltzing by since no one bothered to come by unless Kevin was needed. He turned around until John pounced, their lips meeting as they clashed together. His lips were soft, fitting almost perfectly into Kevin’s like they were made for each other. It was heated, desperate and needy. It was intoxicating. One article of clothing came off after another, exposing themselves. Every time their lips parted, they would meet again soon after, hands grabbing and pulling each other back. Once they were nude, John gasped as he caught his breath.  
“Kevin...take me…” He begged, the other tracing the scars on his face. He gazed into his eyes, the once sharp dangerous look softening. John returned the gesture as his thumb grazed at his lip, exposing those sharp canines that made him distant.   
“But ain’t you scared of me?” Kevin questioned him, John shaking his head. “No...make me scared of you ‘Wolf Boy’...” He murmured, pressing his thumb into the sharp edge of his tooth.   
Ba-Bump.   
Kevin pushed his hand away before lifting John’s chin, exposing the open area of his neck and shoulder. His mouth opened before sinking his teeth into the surface, marking the man. John moaned, clawing at his shoulders as his back arched. The sound was music to Kevin’s ears, pulling his head back as he looked at his creation. He craved for more. He needed more. Kevin lifted John off the ground, wrapping his legs around his waist. Kevin carried him on over to his cot, placing him on the soft material gently.   
What Kevin witnessed was something he would not ever forget. John laid there completely vulnerable to him, exposed from head to toe. His hair spread messily, some sticking to his face. His brows furrowed, lips separated as his eyes put a spell over Kevin. He wanted to frame him, keep him for himself for all eternity.   
They kissed yet again, Kevin’s hand wandering around his body. He began playing with his chest, tracing the indents of his figure as it snaked on lower. John shuttered to his touch, pulling at the thick black locks of Kevin’s hair. He soon reached the place he wanted, hand wrapping around his member. That got John going, groaning and whimpering. Every so often he could hear John calling out his name, encouraging the other to keep going. That was until John pushed his hand away, bringing his attention back to John’s face.  
“I need you inside me...now.” he cried. Kevin’s lips curled upwards, tossing John to lay on his belly as he lifted his hips upwards. Luckily a bottle of lotion came in handy. He would use this for hunting but...it was nice for times like this. He lathered his fingers accordingly before slipping his index finger into John, feeling him clench around him as a long whine escaped his lips. Kevin didn’t want to hurt him, slow with his movements until he added another digit. He wasn’t small by any means, so he had to be extra careful.   
Once Kevin figured John was ready and relaxed, he shuffled closer behind the younger outlaw, guiding his member to his entrance. John almost jumped in surprise, his fingers curling into the sheets. Kevin pushed himself inside, biting his lower lip and kept pushing forward until he hit the base. He was already panting, the intense buildup already stirring in his belly. Twenty years has it been?

“Fuck me..” John mewled, Kevin reassuring him as his hands curled around John’s waist. He bucked his hips forward, going slow and increased his speed over time. The sounds they made collided, the clear sound of lovemaking echoing. Occasionally Kevin would lean forward, whispering into his ear.  
“Sugar~ oh sugar…” were the words that made John completely melt, becoming an absolute mess as he continued to assault the button inside. This only made Kevin quicken his movements, his nails digging into his hips. The pleasure was maddening, driving Kevin over the edge. He was getting close.   
John reached behind him, grabbing onto the other’s thigh.  
“F-Fuck...I’m close.” He hissed, trying to keep back the orgasm that was trying to push it’s way through. The thrusts didn’t stop however, Kevin giving his all. That made John cry out into a hard orgasm, spraying all over the bedsheets. Kevin followed soon after, his legs vibrating; his heart beating out of his chest. A few moment’s later of them trying to catch their breath, Kevin laid a soft kiss on John’s shoulder before moving his body to lay beside him, John quickly turning himself before nuzzling close. He will certainly be sore in the morning.  
“That...was somethin’ else…” John weakly chuckled, absorbing the warmth from his body.   
“Y-Yeah...it was.” he replied, enjoying this moment with each other while it lasted. Booze is one hell of a thing.


	9. Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a little shorter than normal, but it gives out more than what it shows! Hope ya'll enjoy it.

It was the next morning since that night of passion that the two shared. Kevin couldn’t quite remember the hazy memory, his waking body moving his hand around in search around the now empty cot. He almost grew worried, jumping up in a slight panic. Everything looked the same, except having the younger man not laying beside him like he last recalled. He was nude, being met with the evidence between his legs. The sheets were stained, his clothes laying on the floor. Perhaps John left before he woke up. It was disappointing, but he didn’t blame him. Kevin swung his legs off the edge, getting up before dressing himself once again.

He exited out of his tent, feeling the tight sensation on his lower back. He stupidly pushed himself too hard, quickly thinking back to how John was probably feeling right now. Poor guy. He limped slightly over to the main area of the camp, Uncle still passed the fuck out by the fire. He couldn’t help but chuckle. The man always used his ‘lumbago’ condition to get out of things. Everyone was pretty much awake, having some coffee or chatting among themselves. However, he was looking for someone in particular. It only took a moment to see him in the distance over by the cliffside, thinking to himself. That got quickly interrupted as Abigail approached. Kevin kept his distance just far enough to listen. They didn’t get along often, occasionally getting into heated arguments over little Jack. He pitied the young boy. 

“Where were you last night? I didn’t see you come back to our tent till morning.” Abigail questioned him, John groaning in annoyance. 

“Why is it any of your business? You only ever come to me if you have a problem.” He replied in an aggressive tone, turning his head away.

“Problem? I’m worried about you. I saw you limping and covering your shoulder. Did you get in trouble again?” 

John simply ignored her, pretending like he didn’t just hear her statement. Abigail already knew there was no point trying to push him to talk since he was only gonna continue being the stubborn man he was. She huffed, stomping away before giving a quick glance at Kevin. He could feel the burn in her eyes, his chest thumping rapidly. Now he fucked up. Luckily Abigail looked passed his worried expression like he was caught stealing, passing by him towards back to her tent.

‘Stupid man’ were the last words he heard before she disappeared. The outlaw finally exhaled the breath he held, trotting over to John now that the path was clear. 

“Hey, you alright there John?” He asked, tilting slightly to the side so that John would notice his presence. John looked on over, shaking his head.

“Just leave me alone will ya? I don’t feel like talkin’ to nobody. Especially  _ you _ …”He muttered, eyes darting downwards onto the ground. Kevin cocked a brow in confusion, almost caught off guard by his response. The way he acted last night was the complete opposite, now turning into a cold and unwelcoming person. 

  
“Was it about last nigh-”   
  


“Just go away, will you? How can I make it any more obvious?” John interrupted with a hiss, getting up to his feet as he winced to a sudden surge of pain. Kevin could see the bite mark peaking from the edge of his red shirt, taking a step back. John inched on closer, pressing his finger into his chest. It was hard, almost slightly painful.

“Stay away from me.”A low growl rumbling in John’s throat, almost stomping in the same manner as Abigail except for the limp in his movement. Kevin could almost feel his heart break completely, his eyes filling with sorrow. It must have been a coincidence right? No, he couldn’t be lying now, could he? Either way, he shouldn’t go against his wishes. As much as he wanted to. Maybe John’s feelings were just in his imagination.


	10. Numbing bottle

Days have passed, almost turning into weeks. Word has been going around about another of Dutch’s plans, which happened to be something far riskier than the others. During one of another encounter with an O’Driscoll, they managed to get the member to spill something about an upcoming train robbery from a big cooperation. Leviticus Cornwall to be exact. It was unknown behind the purpose, but the money was of utmost importance. Kevin himself wasn’t doing well, but he offered himself to assist. The poor man was almost always blanking out, deep in his own thoughts and troubles. It wasn’t about the plan. It was about John. He was drowning himself in poison, isolating himself if he wasn’t going around what doing what was needed to be done. One drink after another, looking ragged and unpleasant to lay eyes on. However, someone did notice this pattern, the older gentleman known for his wisdom and guidance. Hosea Matthews.

Kevin was sitting at the table, a bottle of whiskey in hand as he twirled the fluid in a circular motion. Sadness filled his expression, acting like a broken-hearted fool. He kept playing back those words that John said to him, the rim of the bottle meeting his lips yet again to suppress the achy feeling. He did do what the man asked, staying away from him. Often he would see him around, a wall blocking him from approaching. 

“Kevin Adiar, this is the third bottle you had in an hour. You’re gonna drink yourself dead if you continue.” Came Hosea, perching himself on over the seat close by him. The kind atmosphere broke Kevin out of his trance, looking up at the man. 

“Yeah, Just been...troubled.” He muttered, a feeling of shame washing over him. Kevin always had issues with booze ever since the passing of his lover Maraline and Arabella; the scars giving a haunting reminder once his eyes focused on his arms and hands. He could still feel his arms being torn every so often, the howls ringing in his ears. He could have died that day, wishing he did instead of coming home to that unbearable sight. Blood stained his clothes. Hands and arms pooling crimson from the wounds. Going down to his knees as his eyes widened in disbelief, hearing the peep of his daughter before scurrying on over to save her from the bullet that pierced her abdomen. Maraline was long gone, laying only a few feet away. Suddenly his daughter was no longer breathing in his arms. 

“You look more than just ‘troubled’. Has something happened between you and John?” Hosea asked, his fatherly energy emitting strongly. Was it really that obvious? The outlaw swallowed harshly, gripping at his bottle. He didn’t want to lie, sweat going down his pores before struggling with a response.   
  
“It ain’t important, but yeah. He don’t want anything to do with me.” His eyes began watering slightly, his nose scrunching up to hold back the tears. The booze also happened to heighten his emotions, lips quivering before palming his face. Kevin hated being vulnerable.

“Huh, sounds familiar. He did that with Arthur but went and disappeared for a year instead. He never admitted to why, but things weren’t the same when John came back. Now they aren’t per se ‘close’ like they used to be. I’m sure he will snap out of it soon.” Hosea began reassuring him, patting his shoulder. 

“He is stubborn, but something will happen where he will realize his mistake. Till then, don’t drink so much.” 

Kevin wanted to believe his words, but it was hard. A year huh? So this wasn’t the first time. Those lips and eyes were more of a poison than what he held in his hand. Hosea smiled one last time before taking his leave. Kevin stared down at the bottle, pushing it away. John can wait. 

There was a train robbery to deal with.


	11. Train Heist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya'll get your tissues ready. It's gonna get sad.

“Kevin….” a whisper echoing in Kevin’s ear, sounding like it was coming from miles away in his head.

“Kevin! Are you listening to me?”

Kevin almost jumped as his heart rate quickened before shooting his head towards the voice.

“I can’t have you spacing out son. I asked if you were feeling alright.” 

Dutch spoke with his loud booming voice, the true tone of a leader that could send shivers down anyone’s spine. 

“Yeah! I’m fine.” he responded. He was sitting on his new steed named Mable, a smaller Morgan with a long black mane and bronze coat. They were riding over to the tracks where the train was going to pass, just in the mountains up north in Grizzlies West territory. Most of the gang were riding along which consisted mostly of the deadly gunslingers. John included. Kevin was dressed in a fairly thick red felt coat, going down to about his waist. Personally, he didn’t mind the cold much as long as he didn’t get wet. The breeze of the frosty wind hit his face; his nose and cheeks glowing bright with a rose colour. The ride was bumpy, the snow slowly getting higher as time passed. They soon reached the perfect scouting spot that looked overhead into the tracks, stopping at the edge of a cliff before everyone nestled on undercover. 

“Alright men! It should be coming any minute now. Cover up your faces and let’s wait to strike.” Dutch announced, lifting up his bandana to cover his face. Everyone else did the same, Kevin lifting his then adjusting the strap of his pump-action shotgun. He leaned his upper body forward on against Mable, his sharp blue eyes staring down in the distance of the tracks. The squeaking of the wheels began filling the silence, followed by the loud hissing of the gears. Smoke hovered above the closer it approached, indicating that it was now time to execute the plan. There was a cart that they could jump on since it only had cargo and bags. 

Dutch took the lead, heading down the slop as they galloped for the oncoming train. Kevin yipped Mable, treading through the snow at high speeds. It was now time. One by one, They jumped onto the edge, reaching Kevin’s turn as he launched himself off Mable. He slipped mid-jump, gripping at the edge for dear life with one hand. The burning sensation of his weight bringing him downwards as well as the biting temperatures made him groan in pain, swinging his other arm forward to grab onto the metal rod. Arthur came on running just in time, reaching his hand towards Kevin.   
“Come on! Grab on!” He yelled, Kevin grasping at his arm as he was hoisted up. The man rolled onto the wooden surface to catch his breath, the sound of gunfire bringing back his attention from the panic. Guess that their arrival was expected. The outlaw quickly got up to his feet before maneuvering behind some boxes, whistling of bullets passing his head. His eyes peeked around the corner, spotting a man hidden in the next cart. Kevin cocked his shotgun before making a quick aim in his direction. He put his hunting skills to the test, his arms steady before firing.

The body tumbled down, confirming his succession. Now that some of the way was clear, they hustled on over further down the train. Suddenly someone popped unexpectedly, giving the chance to pounce onto John who was just ahead of Kevin.    
“Fuck! Get the hell off of me!” John shouted as he attempted to kick him off, the man’s hands grabbing at the collar of his coat as he struggled to wrap his fingers around his neck. Kevin took the quick action and fired yet again, getting a headshot. That made Kevin completely vulnerable.

_ BANG. BANG. _

Kevin felt a searing pain in his left shoulder and abdomen, stumbling back in shock. He took his hand before palming the surface of his side, feeling a wet sensation on his fingertips. It was strangely warm. Bringing his hand back to his line of sight, fingers covered in a red sticky fluid. 

He got shot.

He inhaled deeply, a now throbbing pain radiating from his wounds. He felt something coming up his throat, coughing as more blood stained his lips. John gazed in horror before Arthur killed them instinctively. Arthur then noticed the expression on John’s face, being met with Kevin staggering downwards as his bullet wounds oozed. 

“Fuck...Kevin’s been shot!” Arthur alerted the others, Dutch turning his head towards them.

“We can’t stop now! Get John to stop the bleeding and keep moving!”

John was frozen, wide-eyed before being snapped out of his trance once Arthur grabbed his shoulder. John quickly got up to his feet, rushing over to Kevin that laid on the ground. He was wheezing, struggling to breathe from the blood coating his throat. John went and kneeled beside Kevin, unbuttoning his felt coat to expose the damage. It wasn’t good.   
“John….go…” Kevin spoke, attempting to push him away. He didn’t value his life much at all since he no longer had something to live for. He wanted this to seal his fate, hoping to see his family once again.   
“Stop talking, I ain’t budging.” John replied, taking his bandana off before pressing into the wound on his belly. Kevin gasped to the sharp pain, small cries escaping his lips. The cloth was quick to absorb the blood, but it didn’t clot very easily. Kevin’s vision was already tunneling, his conscience being fed away from the pain and ongoing blood loss. 

“I’m...sorry John….for..everything…I ain’t never...wanted to hurt you…” Kevin’s voice was losing its volume. Kevin didn’t want to admit it, but he felt more for John than anyone before. All he wanted was to feel that passion one last time, cupping John’s face with his blood-stained fingers.   
“John...I…” Kevin whispered before everything went black. All he could hear the last few moments was John calling out his name. 

‘I’m sorry John. I’m so sorry.’ Was Kevin's last thoughts.


	12. Another's Another Authors note

Hey ya'll, wanted to apologize for the delay on the next chapter. Don't worry! Kevin ain't dead. or is he? I'm currently working on the chapter and will hopefully be posting it no longer than a day more. Hope to see ya soon!  
-Kavvioc


	13. Wake up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY GOT IT DONE. I'm terribly sorry for the wait. The last while has been real hard, but I finally got the motive to finish it. I should regularly be writing once again, so see ya'll in the next chapter!

It was dark. Nothing was heard or seen. Kevin almost felt like he was floating, feeling calm and at peace. Personally, he didn’t mind it. Nothing was bothering him. No pain to be felt. Just genuine peace. It only lasted until he saw a bright light tunneling in his direction. There they were.    
Maraline with her soft smile and their daughter Arabella who excitedly jumped to his presence. Kevin stared, looking back behind him and saw another path. However, it looked unwelcoming. He could sense a cold wind coming from that direction, so of course, he began walking over to his family. The steps felt light, reaching on closer towards them. The expression on Maraline’s face changed, morphing into his fathers. He had the same raven hair as Kevin, only far older with a thick beard. He was old, grey and sick. His daughter was no longer seen, the light darkening with a grey hue. 

“Kevin Adiar. Do you really think you’re my son?” His father asked, the biting of the cold wind nipping at his fingertips. 

“Yes papa. I do.” He replied. 

His father chuckled, placing his hand on his shoulder.

“You ain’t done yet here. Go finish what you started.  _ wake up _ .”

Wake up? What does he mean by not ‘being finished’? He felt like he was being dragged by a quick force, his father quickly narrowing from his vision. 

Kevin’s eyes shot open, taking in a deep breath. He felt like he didn’t move for a decade, trying to move his limbs before a sharp trail of pain traveled throughout his body. He yelped, gritting his teeth once his eyes shut tightly. He lifted his head, seeing that he was bandaged on his right shoulder and side of his abdomen. The energy he had wasn’t enough to try and move, gazing around him to figure where the hell he was. It seemed familiar. He was laying on his cot back in HorseShoe OverLook. His question was how the hell he ended up back here and not dead on the tracks.

He couldn’t help but think back to what happened. Seeing John getting attacked made him do the unthinkable, putting himself in that position of losing his life. How much of an idiot was he really to just jump in like he had the right to? But really got him thinking was if the robbery was a success.

“H-hello?” Kevin croaked, his voice struggling to reach its full volume. Luckily someone was there to hear his call, the figure of a man appearing. It was Lenny.

“Damn, we thought you wouldn’t make it. How you feeling?” The young man asked, entering his tent. 

“I...feel like I got stoned. My body...don’t wanna move…”

“Kinda figured that. You were out for a couple of days. I think it’s been ‘bout five now.” Lenny replied, settling himself down on the corner of the bed. Kevin stared at him, confused. He traced back, John now appearing in his mind. That quickly made him use whatever strength he had to lift his body. The pain was excruciating, letting a loud howl. Lenny got up and attempted to usher him to lay back down.

“Kevin, you need to rest.”

“B-but John….I need to know if he’s okay.” The outlaw protested, gripping onto his forearm to attempt to get on his feet. He didn’t care about how he was going to get out of the tent, opening his wounds again slightly as more blood seeped through the cloth. His energy didn’t last however, tumbling back down on the cot unsuccessfully. 

“He is fine Kevin. If anything, he would be more upset about you moving around right now. I don’t think you want that now would you?” Lenny pushing him down by his chest to keep him still just in case Kevin decided to try and escape again. He wasn’t wrong. 

“Right now, he feels like one hell of a jerk. So you are better off resting and not have John worry. Arthur is keeping an eye, so don’t be worrying so much.” 

Kevin finally gave in, sighing as he unlatched his hand. It wasn’t something Kevin wanted to do. He hated being hurt, feeling useless. No matter how well Lenny convinced him, he couldn’t help but still have that tinge of worry tingle in the back of his thoughts. 

“Good. You rest now. I’m gonna get you something to eat. I’ll get someone to keep on eye on you till you are well enough to start moving.” Lenny last said before exiting the tent. 

Kevin was once alone, staring at the flaps longingly. He hoped that he wouldn’t be in here forever. Only if he had the courage to finally tell John those words. Maybe things would have been different. 

“I love you John….you fuckin’ bastard…” He grumbled underneath his breath, quickly chuckling weakly right after before cupping his forehead.


	14. Old Friend

Two weeks passed since Kevin last woke up from his miniature coma. Thing’s were looking good since the train heist was a supposed success. They got a bunch of claims which could be sold for a high price. The distance between Kevin and John wasn’t so intense, occasionally greeting one another or John coming by his tent to check on him. John pretended it wasn’t a big deal even though Kevin could see it clear as day. The pain of the bullet wounds were settle, but not enough for him to curl forward in agony. There were some new additions for some more reminders. He was in his tent, a mirror sitting in front of him as he looked at the fresh scars. He traced them with his finger, a small bit of pain sparking. They were healed pretty decently, but he decided to patch them up anyway.

Since things were more calm than usual, he decided to take some time to himself and head on to Valentine. Kevin didn’t feel the need for some company even though some were insistent. He hopped on Mable, trotting over to Valentine. Luckily no one recognized him since the robbery took place almost two months ago. He made his way over to the saloon, tying up Mable on over to a post before heading on inside. The sound of chatter and a piano echoed from the walls. Some people eyed him when he walked over to the bar, ordering himself a bottle of whiskey. One man stood about five feet on his left, fiery red hair almost nestling on his shoulders. He almost stared on over at Kevin, before making a realization on who it was.

“Lucas? What in the hell...is that really you?”Kevin spoke, the stranger grew a widened smile.

“Holy hell! Ain’t it Kevin! I haven’t seen you in years!” Lucas shouted, moving his raven bangs out of his face to really see if it was indeed Kevin. 

“Shit, I didn’t recognize you for a sec. You look old now.”

“Old? I’m only forty-three, you idiot. What are you….forty?” Kevin replied in a snarky tone, pushing him away playfully.

“You still be looking like that scrawny redhead boy I remember saving all them years ago.”

Lucas rolled his eyes. “Mind you. I’m thirty-nine and a  _ half _ .”

Kevin hollered into a loud laughter, drinking his booze contently. 

Lucas was his best friend in their younger days. He met him during one of the days where they traveled to the nearby town, being another only child to what he assumed was one of his mother’s friends. They would often play together, causing trouble occasionally. There was a time where Lucas pissed off a rabid dog, making Kevin having to kill the poor thing for his idiocy. But then Lucas disappeared in Kevin’s late teens, moving on fairly quickly once he married Maraline. 

“Hey Kevin. Why ain’t you married? You don’t got any ring.”   
Kevin felt himself frown, looking away. 

“I  _ was.  _ You heard of Maraline?”

Lucas’s expression changed. His already pale skin turned ghostly, sweat dripping from his pores. The man was nervous, but kept his stance. 

“Yeah. We were a thing back then. She was part of my gang for a bit. You heard of the O’Driscolls?”

_ O’Driscolls _ ?   
“She told me somethin’ about having a husband when we got together. Then she got pregnant with a kid and tried to keep me quiet about it. But then I realized her husband owed my boss, so we killed them. And lemme tell you, I don’t regret it one bit.”

Kevin felt his heart his shatter, grabbing onto the collar of his shirt.

“That was my fuckin’ wife!” He yelled, his blood boiling with such intense anger.

Lucas almost seemed unfazed. Knowing that Kevin would react this way.

“I know. I never liked you Kevin. You were always a waste like your papa said. Also..your  _ wife _ sure makes a good whore.”

Kevin cranked his fist back before giving a hard punch. His vision was red, pulling back over and over. His fists were covered in his blood, mutilating his face with each strike. Lucas just laughed mockingly.

“Oh, and that kid? She ain’t yours. Never was. I enjoyed seeing her cower in fear while calling your name. I can still hear it, can’t you?”

Kevin grabbed at Lucas and gave yet another hard punch, breaking his nose as blood splattered onto the side of his cheek. He hated him. He wanted to  _ kill _ him. Kevin then pulled out his knife, stabbing it into his abdomen and twisted the blade. 

“I can’t Lucas. And wanna know why?” Kevin spoke, his voice oddly calm. It was chilling. Lucas hollered in pain, only making Kevin twist it further.

“Because I can only hear how much I’m going to make you scream…” 

Kevin went and removed his blade before stabbing it into his groin. That certainly got him screaming, pushing it in deeper before the sharp knife sliced upwards. A huge pool of blood poured out, literally cutting Lucas like a dead animal ready for butchering. He got up as the man continued to scream, sounding pleasant to Kevin’s ears. He then finished it off, giving a slice on his jugular just deep enough for Lucas to choke on his own upcoming death.

“Hope she served you well Lucas. Because I don’t think nobody will be touching your cock in hell.”

Kevin slipped his knife back to where it was before, making his leave outside the saloon. The lawmen were coming as the residents began running for dear life. He wiped the blood off his face, heading on over to a barrel before washing himself. Colm was certainly going to pay.


	15. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY HAVE RETURNED WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER. it took forever to get the motive but i finally did it. Thank yall for sticking around. i really appreciate it. Now enjoy the goodness.

Kevin felt tired as all hell, dragging his body like a bag of bricks back to camp as the blood from prior stained his hands and forearm. The gaze in his eyes was lifeless, a few couple new additions of cuts added to the ones he already had. They hurt for sure since he had to fend off the law after. He was pretty much a rabid wolf loose and running. Each step felt like an eternity, finally reaching the borders of the camp. He held his trusty revolver in his left hand, but no longer had the energy to hold it in his grip. It clicked and clanged on the ground, followed by a thud as soon as it finally settled.

Kevin’s feet were pretty much digging into the dirt at this point, his good companion Lenny coming to the rescue.    
“Hey Kevin, what the hell happened to you man?” he asked, catching Kevin before he collapsed onto the ground. Of course, it had to create a scene, the last person he wanted to see at the moment approaching them. John Marston. Those worried doe eyes could be seen from a mile away, doing what he could with his slim figure to also support him to his feet. Kevin was immediate with pushing him away, getting a quick response from the younger man.

“Let me help you will ya?”   
“N-No John, I’m okay.” Kevin managed to blurt out, his shakey legs lifting his own weight while leaning into Lenny who struggled a fair bit. Arthur soon trailed on behind and grabbed for Kevin, slowly yet surely carrying him to his tent. He went and sat roughly on his cot, the outlaw waving the others off to leave him be. By the look on Kevin’s face, they didn’t want to test his patience even though Lenny and Arthur were hesitant. They left him be, making their leave to report back to Dutch about his return and state. 

Kevin sat there, reaching towards the corner of his cot as he grabbed about a half-empty bottle of whiskey, bringing the bottles to his lips. The burn reminded of his torturous existence, blurring the painful reminder of what occurred not that long ago. Next thing he knew, John was staring down at Kevin by the flaps of his tent. Guess he couldn’t push the younger man away much longer.

“Kevin, now yer runnin’ away from me. ”He began speaking, that familiar roughness heard in his voice. John went on over and planted himself on over to the corner of the bed, some medical supplies being placed close to the other man. 

“John, there really ain’t no reason to-”   
  


“Shut it. At least let me clean you.”John interrupted him as he folded a cloth with those rough yet delicate-looking hands. Kevin wasn’t going to protest, sighing heavily as he pretty much submitted to him. John inched on closer, soaking the cloth in a liquid Kevin assumed would clean those sore wounds on his arms and face. John pressed the cloth against the wound on his cheek, wincing to the burning sensation. He was careful since he knew himself that getting deep cuts cleaned on his face wasn’t so pleasant. The scars were evident on his face. 

“So, what happened? You were fine going out.” John said as the blood washed away onto the cloth. 

“It’s….a long story. Killed a man and a few others. Ain’t nothing new.”

“Nothing new? You looked like a dead man walking. Pretty sure it wasn’t just  _ any  _ killing.”

John wasn’t wrong. It really just wasn’t any encounter. Kevin hated to worry John, since he didn’t want to have him watch like a hawk. 

“John, I really don’t want to have ya worry about me. I ain’t nothing special.” Kevin responded, John now tending to the new cuts on his forearms. 

“That’s a load of shit. We can’t afford to lose you. And Dutch will say that if he stood here. But why the hell are you running away from m-”   
  
“Because I love you John!” Kevin raised his voice, the words just slipping out of his lips. The pain he felt in his chest was so intense, his voice cracking since he felt so overwhelmed and lost. First, it was the death of his family, next came the news that his wife never loved him and the child wasn’t his. It was all just tumbling down, showing his vulnerability like he never did before. His eyes were at the brink of just watering, catching himself before he started to let them fall.

“I….love you. And I can’t keep hiding it anymore…” He muttered, feeling John cup his cheek. Next thing he felt was those cupid bow lips pressing onto his own. The desperation and tenderness just sparking from the pressure. His upper body was pressed down onto the cot, the mini earth’s in Kevin’s eyes suddenly sparking with life yet again. It wasn’t long till John straddled his hips.    
“You have any idea how long I waited to hear that? Now show me how much you ‘love’ me Wolf Boy.”

Kevin was wide-eyed, all worries washing away as the lovely scene of John finally taking control. And let me tell you, he will love John like never before. 


	16. God's gonna cut you down

After that make up between the two love birds, things were pretty good for the last couple weeks. Kevin was back to his original state, all smiling and perked up like he used to be. Him and John were finally together, but not in a public manner. They often got together on their free time, bathing each other in affection while acting like pretty close friends outside of the tent. It was perfect. It was...too perfect. 

Kevin was with John outside of camp, just trotting and minding their own business. However, the word got around for what happened in Valentine. Even when they passed by some random folk, they looked at Kevin with fear. And that wasn't good news at all.

"John…"Kevin abruptly began speaking, turning his head towards John with a worried look on his expression. 

"You know...the law be looking for me. Are you sure you wanna keep sticking around?" 

John sighed, looking away momentarily before gazing back at the older man.

"What kind of question is that? I didn't just let you fuck me all those times to run away.  _ Trust _ me. I'll always be by your side." 

And now it was time to test that. In the distance was a rather large line of lawmen blocking the road. They were all armed with weaponry, something you would see trying to take down a whole army. But that army was just Kevin. They were here just for him. He can't run any longer can he? 

Kevin stopped before getting off his horse, now stepping towards their direction rather slowly. They all raised their guns before aiming at the man, getting ready to fire. Of course Kevin surrendered. He raised his arms in the air, pausing his steps in place before lowering his head.

"Kevin Adiar. You are wanted dead or alive for commiting multiple cases of mass murder, robbery, and treason. You killed a man a couple weeks ago which added to your bounty lasting of twenty years. I  _ finally _ caught you Wolf Boy. Surrender or I will fire." 

Kevin smirked before he began laughing, raising his head with a blissful expression.

"Took y'all long enough. Why, didn't make it easy enough for ya?" He spoke, the leader gesturing a couple lawmen to go and subdue him. 

"You really didn't. But now I will get to watch you hang tomorrow. We can't have scum like you walking around here." The man spoke, Kevin now being shackled from behind. John just stood and watched. He knew very well that they couldn't take them on their own. So it was best to return to camp and start a plan. 

John went and yipped Old Boy and headed back to camp in a hurry as they got ahold of Kevin. His eyes watched John for the last couple moments of his freedom, taking it while he could. 

John returned back to camp, nearly toppling over before rushing over to Dutch's tent. He was panting, exhausted and stressed about this situation. 

"D-dutch! The law got Kevin." He spoke. Dutch was busy reading a book before lifting his head.

"Really? What are you so worked up there for son? I thought you hated him." He responded in a soft tone before getting up, approaching the other.

"I don't...we  _ need _ him Dutch." John pleaded, finally catching his breath.

Dutch sighed, patting his ringed hand on John's shoulder. 

"You know….If I could, I would kill each and every one of those bastards to get him back, but we can't risk that. Not especially with what we have. I'm sorry son...but we can't risk it." 

John shot his gaze up at Dutch with disbelief? What did he mean by that? Kevin was one of his deadly gunslingers and he was gonna give up without trying?

"You mean...we ain't even gonna try? If it was Micah or Arthur you wouldn't even hesitate! You used him this whole time?" John began shouting, distraught and hurt from this new information. Dutch didn't even respond, looking away. That gave his answer. This whole time he was being used. Now thrown like a dog on the curb. And his end was in less than 24 hours. He couldn't do anything anymore. Kevin now had to pay for his crimes. Like Kevin as heard from someone long ago... 'God's gonna cut you down'.


	17. Last words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter! Thanks y'all for reading! I'll be doing a second book about Kevin's younger days soon tho.

Kevin was laying in the cell, his face bruised and bloodied from the hidden abuse of the lawmen. The hanging was coming in mere moments, the pain of withdraw sparking in every nerve of his body. He was shaking as he grabbed at his arms, clenching his teeth from adrenaline and stress. The creak of the door opening made him lift his head, expecting to be beaten for a bit more. But no, there was only one. The executioner. 

"Alright. Time to get up." The man said, Kevin slowly yet surely lifting himself up into a sitting position. The stranger went and opened the cell, the loud squeaking of the metal ringing his ears. 

Kevin went up to his feet, being turned around rather quickly as the rope twisted around his wrists. Of course it had to be the roughest material they could get. He was handled like a dog, being pulled around as he rolled his ankle. Kevin fell straight first into the ground, groaning in pain before being lifted yet again. 

"S-slow down…." Kevin begged, only to be pushed forward with a very sore ankle. 

"Shut the hell up. I ain't getting paid to hear you whine." 

Kevin yelped in pain, tears rolling down his cheeks from trying to contain the swirling hell in his body. He was guided over to the platform where the hanging starts. He could feel his body draining the closer they went, lifting his head and saw a familiar figure. Those doe eyes...filled with misery. His John. He stood there, clutching at his sleeve as he watched Kevin being sent to his death. This was the last thing he wanted. He didn't want to have him see his last breath. He was brought up the stairs, feeling the steps bend to it being worn out. 

_ Stop _

Kevin shouted in his mind. He didn't have the energy to speak. He wanted to be in John's arms. Safe and warm.

Now he was on the platform, the rope now hugging around his neck.

_ Please  _

John stared up, his eyes watering as those lips curled into a frown. He remembered seeing John happy and content. His lips were welcoming and soothing. But now everything was cold. Kevin just wanted to go home. 

Not even the words that the sheriff made sense. It was all muted. His hand grabbed onto the bar for a moment, getting ready to pull.

Kevin didn't stop looking at John, but a smile curled on his lips. Why was he smiling? It was a smile John hasn't seen before. A genuine smile he never seen Kevin make. 

_ Meet me at the other side. _

Kevin mouthed. He closed his eyes before it was pulled, exhaling his last final breath as if he said something. And the only person that knew was John himself. 

_ I love you...John _


	18. The story ain't over!

So. With enough convincing my buddies told me that it wasn't time to end the story. I will be continuing it for longer! Expect another chapter soon!


	19. Angel

BANG

Hold on a moment….what was that? Kevin was suddenly met with the ground, his feet thudding against the hard surface. Of course, this was unexpected. He ended up with his face colliding with the floor as well, a long hiss of pain escaping his lips. His neck had an intense searing burn from the rope, cutting and burning the surface. At least he was alive with a couple minor injuries. Kevin’s energy was long gone, struggling to shuffle himself around to have a better look.

‘No...he better not have-’ The outlaw thought to himself, seeing his partner with a revolver in hand, firing yet another shot. However, that wasn’t the only man firing. A couple of other familiar faces joined in as well. Dutch, Arthur, even Charles and the rest of those folks. And of course Micah. But Kevin could care less if he laid in a ditch. Hell, he wouldn’t mind hanging the fucker himself. The horses trampled whomever they could as they shot and killed the law in the surrounding area. One after another they dropped down, John scurrying on over to Kevin in a hurry. 

“Y-you idiot…” Kevin muttered, his throat hoarse and scratchy from the rope. He felt his face get cupped so warmly, gently being caressed by John’s normally rough hands. 

“Shut it. You talk at the worst of times ya know that?” John huffed, taking his knife out before cutting the rope from both his neck and wrists. Kevin whined, only getting hushed by John. Kevin wasn’t in good shape, probably as bad when he was young all those years ago. The things he did...were ain’t accepted in society. Not especially as a pretty young man. But he wasn’t ever this unlucky. Kevin normally got a hit in or two in order for the attackers to get the point. 

Bullets continued to fly as John tried to lift him up, managing to get Kevin to his feet. Well, they aren’t going to Valentine anymore.

“John! Kevin! Get on outta here!.” Arthur yelled out, dealing with a lawman before blowing some lead straight through his skull. They don’t have much of a choice at this point. It’s best to stay away from camp and under until he is presumed dead or something. But that means a higher bounty and more trouble.

John then whistled for Old Boy, the horse trotting on over to the two before They hopped on. John went and helped Kevin up while the others were distracted, soon getting on himself and began heading west. That’s all they can do. 

\------

The two men decided that it was a good time to stop once they headed to a thickly forested area in Amberino. They didn’t decide really since Kevin hold himself much longer from the lack of sleep and food. He ended up slipping off of Old Boy, getting a quick reaction from John as he got off to help Kevin. 

“Oh Kevin...they got you good huh?” He grieved, clearly hurt by the whole situation. It wasn’t often at all he showed his emotions comfortably unless the man before him was only there. Kevin coughed, a small little yelp escaping him from the pain all over his body. It hurt so badly. Will he ever be able to be sing? No, talk normally? He can’t tell. 

“John baby...Don’t worry….”Kevin whispered, using what he can to cup John’s cheek in return for earlier, pulling him down with a shaky hand and kissing those lips he longed for during that hell. Kevin felt like his breath left him every time he kissed John, his eyes fluttering closed for one last moment before letting go. 

“I’ll try. Let’s just rest till mornin’ okay? That way you can sleep. And I’ll feed ya too. But…” John paused, reaching behind his neck as he took off the red cloth that tied around his neck.

“This will help hide the wound. Now you are  _ ugly _ like me.” John chuckled, now tying it around Kevin’s neck gently.

“Ugly?... I must be blind...cause all I see is….an angel with so much pain.” Kevin responded, smiling weakly as he touched him yet again.

“ _ My _ pretty angel….who I love….”


	20. Well, this is it.

Hey y'all. So based on some unfortunate circumstances, I will not be continuing this book. It wasn't over for I had more planned, but some events happened where I have no motivation or pleasure writing it. It hurts me that I no longer ship these two for events that happened in my life, so I sincerely apologize if you guys enjoyed it. I'm considering writing another book with a different pairing or even adding in more ocs. If you guys would like to be part of the book, go ahead and message me on Twitter @KavvioSketches. And we can discuss how your oc can play part in it! It is an 18+ account, so don't message me if you are a minor. I also do artwork so you can see that too. Once again, I am sorry. And if you aren't comfy on Twitter, just comment below if you're interested. Thanks.   
-Kavvioc


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